I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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