There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
