oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
