How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
