hell yes lets make some ravioli
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
