He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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