So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize