So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
