he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
