and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
