He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
