Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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