I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize