Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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