in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
