:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
