Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
