Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
