i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize