im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
