do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
