When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize