If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
