she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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