Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
