How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
