Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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