She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
pray to the hookup gods
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
