Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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