He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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