love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
