Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
