Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
