I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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