I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
