I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
