I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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