What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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