im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
