I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
