fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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