you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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