soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize