Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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