Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
