their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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