there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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