He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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