Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
