i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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