But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
