this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
