Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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