There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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