Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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