we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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