OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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