bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
