He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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