this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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